#BATTLEFIELD BAD COMPANY 2 SERIES#

I mentioned dust earlier, and IвЂ™m going to mention it again. In fact, thereвЂ™s a general visibility problem. And occasionally you fail to notice that the Truckosaurus has chewed a perfectly square-shaped hole in the side of your house that has permitted the ingress of a raging panther. And every time you raise you head to look at it for longer than two seconds youвЂ™re savaged by a flock of vampire bats.

#BATTLEFIELD BAD COMPANY 2 SERIES#

With the Battlefield series being so snipe-happy, gameplay becomes akin to crouching behind a desk trying to read a WhereвЂ™s Wally? book from a house across the street. Explosions tear up both your cover and the enemy's, and you donвЂ™t have the super homing X-ray vision bestowed by the NPC gods. In this game, the explosions have their piss-pipes aimed resolutely at your breakfast cereal. This time, however, you are not a thunderous Norse god, to whom the laws of physics kowtow 'neath his mighty todger. You need at least one unique feature, though, even if itвЂ™s just a gravy cannon or an enemy wearing Deely Bobbers, so Bad Company's thing is destructo-scenery, like what Red Faction Guerrilla did. So itвЂ™s another realistic, cover-based shooter, because apparently we canвЂ™t fucking get enough of those, where the gameplay time is entirely split between gunfighting in collections of small buildings and chest-high walls or traveling to the next one. And the actual protagonist, whose distinguishing feature is the ability to talk without moving his lips. The nerdy one, the Southern one, the sergeant who constantly tempts fate by going on and on about his upcoming retirement although curiously enough never actually dies. The focus is on a little bridge club of four soldiers, and thereвЂ™s an emphasis on characterization, meaning that each of the soldiers has precisely one character trait that they bring across so often they might as well just wear sandwich boards. ThereвЂ™s no evidence of any kind of ideology or motive for the conflict besides, вЂњBecause theyвЂ™re just dicks.вЂќ Russia is just a convenient label for an amorphous, antagonistic mass to drive the plot. But to dwell on the politics is to miss the point. ItвЂ™s like America is some washed-up prize fighter trying to smack-talk an old, retired opponent whoвЂ™s just trying to get drunk and play tennis in peace. What is it with modern war games and Russia lately? Last time I checked, it hasnвЂ™t been 1979 for at least 10 years. The Russians have taken over large chunks of the world and are starting to give the borders of the U.S.

IвЂ™m starting to get aroused by damaged masonry.ДЄs you may have already extrapolated, Bad Company 2 is a realistic war shooter. Marines lurch slowly through desert and jungle environments looking for bits of wall to hide behind while their legs grow back than IвЂ™ve spent having sex. IвЂ™ll be glad when the Modern Warfare bubble blows over and we can end the tyranny of realism.

IвЂ™ll wait as long as you want me to, just please let me play another shooter where I can have more weapons than eyeballs, where if I get bored I can clear out a room with a transfunctionated cyberblaster bollocks cannon I was saving for the next boss fight, where I can run out into the open with the tactics of a suicide bomber and suffer no damage that canвЂ™t be fixed by cellotaping a first-aid kit to my chest. The one-liners, the average running speed of 60 miles per hour, even all the stripper business that meant I had to play with one hand hovering over the reset button whenever my mum was around.

Battlefield bad company 2